A Male Locker Room, Bottled

I've chatted about quite a few easy-to-grab, thoughtless spritz-before-the-gym kind of scents, but YSL L'Homme is the absolute epitome of the genre.

The scent is so generic that, rather than breaking down the notes or trying to paint a poetic scene, I'll just say the opening smells like the inside of a male locker room: a fiery blast of citrus freshness with a synthetic spiciness that I can't quite pinpoint.

As it dries down, it does calm down a bit - like stepping out of the locker room and into a better-ventilated foyer. An open window brings in a certain ozonic woodiness that doesn't add much depth, but does smooth out the sharp edges, while the prominent tonka bean merely serves to cap off this well-trodden profile.

Really, this is just deodorant in a perfume bottle. It may have been a trailblazer upon its release two decades ago, but today it feels about as basic as it gets. It's still hugely popular, which suggests this take on fresh masculinity continues to hit the spot for many - but for me, the synthetic, aerosol-like vibes is a complete no-go.