Thoughts on the ‘pressures’ of consumption in order to participate in the fragrance community?

#discussion

Edit: just a little debrief here so we all get on the right foot, this is not a post to police anyone or judge anyone. Completely the opposite. There is no moral judgement here on anyone having a large fragrance collection or spending their money on fragrance. Just seeking to discuss and hopefully help more people feel included and able to participate in our little community :)

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Hi friends - I’m sure we’re all well aware of how big fragrance has become for people online in places like Reddit and TikTok in the last few years, and how it can feel like if you don’t have a large collection, that you’re not ‘part of the club’.

With the cost of living ever growing, people struggling more and more to earn a living and as fragrance culture grows, I’ve been pondering to myself how much the ‘pressure’ of feeling like you need a large collection of fragrances to participate in these spaces is based in actual reality.

Take our little community here for instance. After nearly a week of navigating all the wonderful things this app can do and the lovely people who have joined, looking at all the reviews and stories, unsurprisingly there is a common theme of people having larger collections and/or posting about a new fragrance nearly every day through decants. It is obviously a smart move to buy decants to test fragrances considering how expensive perfumes can be, but for a lot of people even buying a few decants every month will add up over the year, and might be money they actually can’t afford to spend. I have already felt a slight pressure to purchase some decants incase I run out of fragrances to talk about.

So, my question to you all - do you feel pressure to purchase in order to participate in these spaces? Do you worry if you post about the same fragrance multiple times that you will get less engagement and that nobody will care? Do you feel like this pressure impacts you negatively in terms of finances? Do you believe that in order to engage in these spaces that there is a level of financial investment that needs to occur? And in what ways do you feel we can include people who might not have the money to spend but love fragrance all the same?

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Comments35

Incense_Cat@incensecat
last week · Edited
I don't feel pressured to post new content, because I post reviews mostly for myself and the thought of being a content creator gives me anxiety. I enjoy having a large collection because I like to smell new scents often. Do I sometimes overconsume? Yeah, absolutely, but this is mostly related to my AuDHD and dopamine seeking and is something I constantly need to keep a check on regardless. I maintain my finances, pay my bills, add to savings. I think talking about financial accessibility and overconsumption in the fragrance space is healthy, but policing other people's behavior is not. I'm not saying that's what you're doing here, but reddit in particular seems to love telling people how irresponsible and literally mentally unwell someone with a large collection is.
1. Bunny_Hunny4@bunnyhunny4
  last week · Edited
  Oh absolutely not! No policing here at all - I’m really sorry if it came across that way. I might have to look at editing to see where I might have gone wrong if that’s how it sounded. People are individuals and are able to make their own decisions, and having a large collection does not automatically mean people are being irresponsible or financially unsound. I moreso just wanted to open the discussion up to people to see if anyone else did feel like they felt pressure to buy when they would otherwise not in order to ‘participate’, and if so then how we can go about deconstructing that :) I’m ASD myself so I understand about the dopamine seeking haha, I can spend months putting the same things in a shopping cart over and over and then not buying it just to feel like I’m buying it even for 5 minutes 😂
2. Incense_Cat@incensecat
  last week
  Replying to @bunnyhunny4
  I tried to specify I didn't think that's what you're doing. The people who do that tend to just say, you're mentally unwell and irresponsible. like yeah I'm mentally unwell, that's not someone else's responsibility though 😅
3. Bunny_Hunny4@bunnyhunny4
  last week
  Replying to @incensecat
  Haha no worries! I was painting a fence at the same time so possibly a skimmed your comment a bit - to be honest, even people who do ‘irresponsibly’ buy fragrance - don’t we all do that in some way or another? So many people are buying things they ‘shouldn’t’ in order to feel a little bit of joy in a world that’s on fire. I’ve spent majority of my life trying to not overconsume sweets, but it’s dang hard! And when life gets you down it’s difficult not to indulge. Anyone who wants to talk about overconsumption as a concept needs to learn to do so in a helpful way instead of harmful.
Grant@tekwizz123
last week
Personally I originally thought I had to be that way but then I realized that marketers will be marketing and that their life in no way reflects what typical people should do. In fact a few of them even put out videos on YouTube basically saying “hey guys let’s be honest you don’t need that many fragrances I just do this as a job and if I didn’t I’d probably have like 5 fragrances tops” (see https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=4gXgRTqkd4k for a good example of this or look up “TheTripleBway - I’m Begging You To Stop Buying Fragrances” for an example of what I’m referring to). I’ve posted a few decants back to back but honestly most of it was so that I could fine tune the scent detector on here to understand what I like in a scent vs for actual engagement. Personally I think people should be free to spend what they like so long as its within their limits. As for inclusion I say realize people have different noses and backgrounds of experiences and embrace that. That and social sniff events?
1. Grant@tekwizz123
  last week · Edited
  Also sorry for the wall of text the app for some reason doesn’t allow me to space things out in comments with white space on IOS
2. Bunny_Hunny4@bunnyhunny4
  last week · Edited
  Replying to @tekwizz123
  Haha, I love me the ability to paragraph! That would be a good option in the next app update - that and the ability to provide hyperlinks in comments. Thank you for the video recommendation, I’ll add that to my watch later playlist. Whenever I see posts about social sniff events they always look so fun, but hard to join when you don’t drive and don’t live in a big city! Such a great way to get your nose on a bunch of new fragrances tho. When I go out shopping I always feel a bit of pressure to get out of there and not hang about too long testing. Problem is with all the strong smells in beauty shops that when I’m testing something, sometimes I struggle to really smell it whilst I’m there 😮‍💨 I’ve tested nearly all the BTSO fragrances SO MANY TIMES now when I had the chance, and I still have no idea what I think to most of them.
Avalon@avalon
last week
I will start off with saying I'm autistic, so social pressure for me is maybe a different experience than it would be for someone who is more socially capable. I don't feel outside pressure to consume, but I am reaching a point where I only have a few left on my "must-have" list, and I will likely unsubscribe from perfume subreddits when I get those last few, I expect within the next year. Engagement doesn't concern me - i mostly post here to get some ND thoughts out of my system in a community where people will understand if they choose to read it, as well as to track my wears. Additional social aspects are a bonus! But also ones I am withdrawing from a bit at the moment due to burnout/depression. I have spent my entire adult life being unable to afford luxuries, so the ability to afford fragrance is a recent thing for me. I'm used to FOMO and have come to terms with it.
1. Bunny_Hunny4@bunnyhunny4
  last week
  Another autistic here! I wouldn’t say I really feel social pressure, just moreso that in an environment where it can sometimes feel like ‘if you don’t have lots of fragrances to try, you can’t participate’, if I then post about the same fragrance over and over I wonder if others will find it redundant. And it will probably be harder to find new things to say about the same frag again and again, and much easier when you have a variety of frags. I’ve been away from socials like Instagram and Facebook for years because whilst I didn’t feel pressure to post, I did notice some of my self esteem hindered on whether people were looking at and reacting to my posts. Of course this app is in its early days of development and still being fleshed out, but I find on Reddit I have an easier time discussing fragrance as an overall concept rather than focusing on new purchases. TikTok I feel really pushes people to buy. I struggle with dopamine so FOMO is reallll for me.
2. Incense_Cat@incensecat
  last week
  I'm with you. Being neurodivergent in social spaces is just as exhausting as irl for me. I sometimes engage with people, but too much and I get anxious/burnout. Posting reviews is my way of engaging with my own collection, regardless of whether someone wants to comment on my posts or not
3. Avalon@avalon
  last week
  Replying to @bunnyhunny4
  That's fair! I don't have Instagram or TikTok, and i wonder if different social media platforms have more pressure to constantly contribute. I also don't really follow any fragrance influencers. Reddit and this app feel more like "ope just gonna drop a comment in here and go" with fewer expectations to be new and exciting. It feels more casual to me. I just realized reading your comment that I think i just get my dopamine in other ways - I play a couple dressup games (the Nikki franchise and Life Makeover) and I collect things there, with the added bonus of not adding clutter. (I grew up in a hoarder home and I'm very sensitive to "stuff")
Chloe@chloem10
last week
I really enjoy trying new scents and ordering decants, but it definitely does add up. I only buy bottles really love, I don’t really feel the need to have a huge collection just for the sake of having it. Although for a while I definitely did get caught up in blind buying whatever was trendy or the influencers were heavily pushing. I don’t really feel pressure to post or anything like that, perfume is such a personal thing for me that brings me happiness and calm so I refuse to let it turn into anything else
Socially Awkward@sociallyawkward
last week
Ok so I have AuDHD, so my opinion may not be really relevant but I can occasionally be a yapper so here we go. I dont really feel outside pressure for the purpose of engagement, fitting in, etc. because I simply gave up on those ideas a loooong time ago. It's hard for me to relate to people in general, so yeah it's kinda cool to finally have a bridge to be social with others, but it's obviously very surface level and therefore not much of a motivation. I am unable to make friends because I'm so awkward and view myself as "other" and no one has ever challenged that narrative for me. It is what it is and I've come to terms with it. However I do see how people with a different perspective could feel the need to 'keep up' or however you much more eloquently stated it. It's hard being lonely, and now it seems like we live our lives in a way that naturally isolates people. If someone feels this way it doesn't make them lesser, or this hobby toxic. It's just an unfortunate outcome.
1. Bunny_Hunny4@bunnyhunny4
  last week
  Hi! Im autistic so a lot of what you said resonates with me. I think my use of the word ‘engagement’ in my post maybe doesn’t fully encapsulate what I was trying to say. For example, in places like Reddit, I can find I’m reluctant to do more than read other people’s posts because time and time again I’ve received a lot of negative feedback on my own posts or comments that people deem incorrect, boring, irrelevant or ‘repetitive’ and cluttering up the sub. With Reddit a lot of subs don’t want people making posts about something someone’s written about before because it creates ‘clutter’, and people will downvote you for any reason they want. As someone with rejection sensitivity and someone who seeks dopamine through sharing ideas and discussion, this can really hurt. In that sense, I would see why even ND people might feel pressured to buy more if they think their own way of participating might get them downvoted and shunned. Hope that sheds more light on my thoughts!
2. Bunny_Hunny4@bunnyhunny4
  last week
  And just to say, your opinion is DEFINITELY relevant. I actually think there’s quite a lot of AuDHD people here so your thoughts are shared by many ♥️
3. Socially Awkward@sociallyawkward
  last week
  Replying to @bunnyhunny4
  Ah, yeah I def get what you mean. It took me a long time, but I was able to get over a lot of the sensitivity to rejection/negative reactions to my ideas and opinions. It can be really hurtful that people just brush aside what u have to say. I'm not immune to being bothered, I just dont feel the need to 'mask' anymore. I def understand what u mean better, thank u for explaining more. Its hard for me sometimes to understand people's motivations, esp socially. 2 of my girls are sensitive, esp to neg reactions and it breaks my heart. It def helps me be more understanding and to not be such an asshole. Now if other ppl could stop being a holes as well, social media/the world would be a much better place. Not saying being sensitive is bad btw! The down-voting dickheads are. I hope I'm being cohesive, I'm doing 10 things at once and that never turns out well.
SugarPink@sugarpink
last week
Not really. I like to try new perfumes, write about perfumes, but I don't feel like owning a lot of perfumes. I've never heard anyone being upset or mean about it. I don't have a goal of becoming a perfume influencer or some prominent figure, so I can't comprehend why the amount of bottles matters.
StickyLabRat@stickylabrat
last week
I'll admit I feel a little pressure to continually consume as a manner of participating, especially when my goal this year was to significantly cut my collection down. I've done that overall, but also picked up several more than I intended at the beginning of the year. Then I'm reminded that fairly often I find some little nuance or angle of the fragrance I hadn't noticed before, whether it's due to a change in weather or environment and it might spark a different conversation.
Leslie Jo@lesliejo
last week
I get hyper fixated on my hobbies for a while , collect a bunch and then level out and move onto something else while keeping the hobby going. Perfume is my latest. I love smelling good and I’m currently building my collection but I’m close to having it right where I want it and I think I’ll be good. I don’t think I’m doing it to keep up with the community though. For instance I have around 75 houseplants, I built that up quickly and now I continue to care for them , trade and sell them without buying more all the time or buying the latest plant that everyone is going crazy about! I got into sourdough bread making, bought everything I needed for that and now continue to bake it and sell it without having to buy more stuff unless there comes a need. I feel like my perfume collection will be the same. I don’t get the latest and newest just because everyone is raving about it. I really try and get scents I love and enjoy.
Big Sniff Energy@bigsniffenergy
last week
Not at all. Being in community actually helps me learn more without having to spend money.
MariSmells@mehsmells
last week
I don't feel the pressure but I wish I lived closer to an Ulta, Sephora, or any perfume store to smell scents that everyone talks about. I used to own 3 perfumes at any time, hated smells during my pregnancies, and then went through mental health issues as I lost each parent while dealing with post partum. In the last year I rediscovered fragrance as I sorted through my mom's things and started thinking about what I really want in terms of my personal image and scent. Still figuring it out but the community here has been kind when I ask questions about describing how it smells to them.
Psmmg@psmmg
last week
I am collecting right now and navigating the territory. Ultimately I really want to find "my" 4-5 fragrances. I had the chance to try some samples from before IFRA and, boy, the difference is huge. I may end up diy for some stuff! As for pressure and addiction, yes, there is definitely a part that is true. At the moment I am spending too much. I try to tell myself that it's part of a journey with a happy ending as mentioned above... We will see.